I spent the day with Claire Morton yesterday where we were with our CPD Certification ladies who are seriously bloody brilliant and we are both so grateful to have them on this 12 month journey with us.

We got on to talking about perception and how online you have assumptions of what we are all like in person, specifically in height!!

People that I meet having met online first always say to me, god I didn't expect you to be so tall!! well there you have it! Im a 5'11" MG Belter in the flesh!! We are excited to be getting together each other in real life in May!

OK back to perception and assumptions. In the online space we often see the shiny side of life. Often people showing up doing all the fabulous things and rocking up day after day on point and consistent.

Then I look at myself and I haven't been that way for ages. The truth is that I have been doing a lot of work in the back ground. Work on "work" and work on me. That never stops...

Now INTEGRITY is more than a word for me.

As a 5 energy, there is a lot of expectation that I am able to fix all of the things for all of the people and whilst that might be true and I have tried to help as many people as possible (often out of alignment and through obligation or "shoulds"), sometimes people have taken that kindness for weakness. Over stepped those vague boundaries and something that often happens with 5's is that they then get slated if they can't fix something or the person doesn't like what you have to say. Any 5's resonate with this?

And rather than having strong boundaries and speaking my truth, my response was Avoidance. Sensible avoidance from a trauma informed perspective. (Can't deal with any more of this until I get this lot sorted!)

Whilst I have done the work from a belief/neural pathway perspective, there were clearly still epigenetic factors and physical integration of the trauma response to work on.

You tell your brain all you like but our body still remembers unless we do this integration work and one without the other is not going to have lasting impact as so many of us find out.

Even though we deliver and support this work with our clients we are also honest in that we are all never a completed work of art and we both still do the work every single day.

In 2017 we lost our business because we stood up to bullies; people with financial power that had no regard for the law or integrity. Even though everything that they did and said to us and about us was untrue and proved through the legal system of this, the impact on me was catastrophic. It took a long time to recover from that. Because my Integrity had been called in to question. Its a foundational value of me as an individual and Space and Freedom as a business.

So when others with financial power and gravitas did similar to me a few years ago it sent me on an inward journey of discovery; At first I was raging..how dare they..blah de blah de blah...but of course just like the bullies I talked about earlier this person had their own inner stuff, perspective, narrative...every one does..

The impact it had on me was due to my own truth not matching their narrative and what it showed me was that there was more work to do. Epigenetic's, Generational trauma, un integrated trauma responses and therefore more learning was needed. (there goes my 1 energy again). I found the answers.

It showed up again when someone I considered a friend spoke badly of me to a person close to me. That made me so sad..and again I went in and as a true Aries cut them off without any conversation. In I went again and understood that was was said was a reflection of them and whilst it hurt, its their stuff and not mine.

Then my mothers integrity was called in to question by someone very close to us and this almost killed her. Again I supported my mum and my family yet stayed silent.

This month in our Space Method® Academy we are working on the throat and true expression given with love and kindness.

I have a defined throat centre and it is energetically correct for me to speak my truth.

The big trauma from 2017 taught me that speaking your truth gets you nothing but loss and destruction. Yet thats not true, not really. There are just some wrong'uns in the world that my lack of boundaries allowed me to attract. Big lessons learned...including that my integrity is very much intact regardless of how much money or power people have that try to say otherwise.

And there is still choice. Silence in itself is a response. Often a very powerful one. A choice not to respond to the stoking of the fire is also often the best way to manage your own energy..and whilst that is the case if we don't process that energy and allow it to flow then we get sick and i've ticked that box many times.

More "life stuff" has been going on over the past 7 months which I will share with you in time.

So whatever your perception has been of me not being on live so much all shiny and fabulous the truth is this.

- I don't show up for the sake of it. As MG's our aura speaks before we do and if we are not feeling it - its a pointless exercise!

- I have been protecting my own energy.

- I am honest

- I walk the talk

- I get to teach this stuff because I have both the formal knowledge and I have enough life experience to last me 20 life times!

- I have INTEGRITY beyond just using the word.

- I am ridiculously grateful that Human Design and Claire came in to my life when they did. It has allowed me to quickly identify and really work on the deep integration of the trauma response work and be able to support others to look after their holistic wellbeing across their life and work.

If you resonate and you are here to help people, you might like to have a chat about the next cohort of Space and Freedom by Design which starts on the 17th April for 12 months!!

Its more than learning about HD, its about becoming the person you were always supposed to be so you can help others in your life and business to do the same!

https://spaceandfreedom.com/cpd-certification

Phew that turned in to another long ass post!

Have a great day! x